The Evils of Loving You
by Nightsailer
Summary: After shutting himself off fromthe light, Riku drowns in the darkness of his heart and is absorbed into the walls of the abyss. Now he must find and erradicate the darkness before its too late...even if it means giving up the thing most precious to him.


Riku stared up at the big door in front of him, his hand resting on the frame from where he had shut it moments before. The huge gate to the world of the light seemed to stretch limitlessly out before him, reaching for the sky of the infinite abyss he now had to call home.

"You did the right thing, Riku." King Mickey said softly, coming up beside Riku and placing his gloved hand on the tall teen's shoulder. "You saved the world of the light from the heartless...at least for a little while. But you need to start looking forward; we have much bigger problems ahead."

Riku followed the king's gaze, dropping his hand from the intricate stonework of the door. The heartless were springing up from the shadows in every direction. Their beady yellow eyes hungrily scanned the two by the door, looking for any sign of weakness. Riku drew his arms up in an instinctual form of protection.

"Draw your keyblade," the king prompted, his own appearing in his outstretched hand. "Otherwise you won't stand a chance."

"I don't know if I can. I never did it out of my own free will." The last part was added bitterly. Memories of Ansem controlling his every thought, every action, and every move he made against his friends were still fresh in his mind.

"You can do it."

The seething mass of heartless began to take form. Individual dark bodies emerged from the ebony ocean, scuttling closer to the people who had invaded their home. There was a low hissing noise as the heartless moved to attack.

Riku took an involuntary step back.

"Don't be afraid. Remember; in the presence of light, there can be no darkness. Dispel the darkness in your own heart, and these shadow creatures will have no power over you."

"Dispel the darkness? What do you mean?!" Riku turned to look at Mickey.

"I can't tell you. Only you can figure that out for yourself," the king said, never taking his eyes from the hissing group in front of him. He could sense it; they were ready.

The first heartless lunged...and the battle began.

Riku was thrown to the side as the creatures swarmed the king. Mickey's keyblade whistled expertly through the air, slicing through many a heartless on a single sweep. The battle seemed over before it began; and the silver-haired teen breathed a sigh of relief. The king was winning.

Then things started to turn around. Here in the abyss the creatures of the dark were stronger; they regenerated as if nothing had happened. Grotesque figures pulled themselves together, recovering from what would ordinarily be fatal wounds.

"We can't win..." Riku breathed.

A heartless' head whipped to face him, its burning yellow eyes seeming to see him for the first time. A few more of the creatures turned along with it.

"Stop doubting!" Mickey cried, fending off another heartless by swinging his sword around behind his back. "It makes them stronger! Where is your keyblade?"

"LIKE I WOULD KNOW!" Riku stared down at his hand, willing with all his might for the black blade to appear. Silver hair fell into his eyes, hiding the wild look of doubtful determination resting deep within their aqua depths.

_I can't do it._

"Riku!" Mickey shouted. "You can do it! Stop doubting!" The heartless were starting to pull themselves together faster now, their evil golden eyes growing brighter. "They're feeding off your doubt!"

_There's no way._

Riku stared harder at his hand, willing the keyblade that wouldn't come. He was concentrating so hard that he didn't notice the heartless pulling at his legs, pulling him down to become one with the abyss.

"RIKU!"

The teen finally looked up as his hand disappeared into the darkness. His usually calm, collected stare was ruined by fear and self-doubt. Blue eyes stared at the king, sinking deeper into the black. "I'm weak," he said softly, his arm relaxing. "This isn't my battle. Battles are for the strong...battles are for the ones who can protect the ones they love...battles are for people like Sora."

_Battles are for the ones who can protect people like Kairi._

Mickey ran over, getting to Riku just as his head disappeared into the void. A black keyblade marked the place where he had disappeared.

"Swallowed up by your own doubt..." the king murmured, running a hand over the hilt of the weapon. "But this proves you're not completely gone. If you can conquer the darkness in your heart, then you may yet live to wield this blade again." Taking his hand away, he breathed, "See you soon, Riku."

There was nothing but darkness.

Riku's feet touched down on a surface that wasn't there. A quick look around showed him that beyond where he was standing, nothing existed but an endless void.

"Where am I…?" he wondered aloud. It seemed to be the same place; the gloomy world of the heartless. But the question was…where WERE the creatures? "So there you are!"

Riku spun around to see who had spoken. Behind him was Kairi, a relieved look on her face.

"K…Kairi!" Riku was stunned. _Where did she come from..?_

"I've been looking for you all over," the pretty brunette went on, happy tears brimming in her big blue eyes. "Don't ever leave me like that again, k?"

__

Did she miss me that much? Does this mean she's finally accepted my feelings? His heart burned as he said, "I…I promise. I don't even know how I got pulled away from you the last time. I—"

"I'm sorry, Kairi. It wasn't really my choice, but I found my way back, didn't I?"

"Sora?!" Riku whirled once again to find his friend standing not five paces behind him. "I thought you had locked the door behind me! Didn't I tell you not to follow me?! Didn't—hey, are you even listening to me?!"

Sora didn't seem to see him, or at least gave no sign that he did. Taking a few steps forward, the mid-height boy approached Riku. "I'm never going to leave you again, Kairi," he murmured. "Never." At that moment, the boy walked right through the silver haired ghost and over to Kairi. Slipping his arms around her waist, he repeated soflty into her ear, "never ever."

"Sora..." Kairi returned his embrace, lightly kissing his neck. "I believe you."

Riku watched in silent shock as his two best friends embraced. Both of them were unaware of his presence, and they hugged each other like they wouldn't let go.

"K...Kairi...," he whispered, stunned. His eyes followed Sora's hands as they travelled up and down Kairi's back, caressing it sweetly.

"I brought something for you," Sora whispered to her. Reaching his hand into his pocket, he produced a paopu fruit. Its star-shaped yellow center seemed to glow in the abyss, casting a faint glimmer in the endless darkness.

"Sora!!" Kairi gasped. Her fingers hesitantly reached out to touch the fruit. "Is...is this for real?!"

Sora nodded, breaking off a piece of the fruit. He brought it up to Kairi's mouth and lightly tapped it in. Putting another piece to his own lips, he said quietly, "now no matter what happens, our destinies will always be intertwined." With that, he slipped it into his mouth.

_Crack._

Riku clenched his fists so hard all the knuckles crunched. "Sora...you...traitor..." he spat through gritted teeth. "Kairi...is...MINE!" The black keyblade appeared in his hand and he charged at Sora, the sword brandished high. Sora and Kairi didn't look up.

"HOW COULD YOU, KAIRI?!" he screamed, anger clouding his thoughts as he swung the keyblade wildly. "HOW COULD YOU?!" Right as he was about to send the rage-maddened blade through the happy couple, they disappeared, along with half of the keyblade. Riku studied it madly. "What happened?! Where did you go?! Why is the keyblade like this?!"

Then he woke up.

Riku opened his eyes to see the rolling expanse of endless blue sky. Waves crashed in his ears, drumming a constant rhythm against the sand. He sat up slowly, feeling the last bits of rage slipping away. "What the...?" he muttered, rubbing his temple. "...I'm back on Destiny Islands!"

"Duh. Where did you think you were?" Kairi jogged up beside him and plopped into the sand. "And I know I've told you this before, but you sleep like the dead. You got hit with like six huge waves and you didn't even turn over."

Riku shook his hair out of his eyes, and was surprised to see little droplets of water fly in every direction. He really WAS soaked. _But just a moment ago I wasn't here..._

"Where's...where's Sora?" Riku said slowly. He was still trying to get a grip on what was happening.

"Up by the waterfall somewhere. He found this little multi-colored lizard, and now he's obsessed." Kairi made a face of mock scorn. "He's just like a little kid..."

Riku stood up, noting the sand that fell out of the folds of his clothes. They signified that he had been lying there for hours, not tumbling off through time and space on some horrific adventure that landed him in the depths of hell. He shook his head in amazement. Turning back to Kairi, he said, "Ok...well, we'd better go find him. That lizard might be poisonous." He winked at her.

Kairi giggled, her cheeks turning a light pink. "Prob'ly. Knowning him, he's already dead." Then she forced herself to make a straight face. "And I'm sincerely glad you didn't drown in the ocean."

The two stared at each other for a long moment, then both burst out laughing. But while Kairi's was just silly and carefree, Riku's was wholehearted gawd-I-just-survived-the-worst-thing-of-my-life laughter that shook his entire body.

He was home.

"I'll race ya," he said playfully.

"Sure! OnetwothreeGO!" Kairi took off, sand spraying out from under her slip-on tennis-shoes.

"No fair!" Riku called after her, using his long legs to catch up. _I can't believe that it was just a dream. It seemed so real..._ His eyes scanned the island, taking it all in. Then they travelled back, resting on Kairi's bouncing form. Once again he felt the twinge of attraction in his chest. It wasn't an unfamiliar feeling...but this time it felt...different. Almost painful. Riku's eye twitched as he acknowledged the pain, but he kept running, dismissing it as a minor inconvenience.

Kairi turned around. "Hey Riku, cancha catch up?" she teased.

Riku stopped. Was it just his imagination, or had the shadows in the nape of Kairi's neck and below her feet become darker?

"Hey Kairi, it's kinda dark for such a cloudless day, isn't it?"

She shot him a strange look. "What are you talking about?"

"...nevermind. I'm imagining things." Riku took advantage of her pause and shot past her. "MADE YA LOOK!"

"NOT FAIR!"

As he ran, he couldn't shake the nagging feeling that something wasn't right. It reminded him of the doubt he had felt in the dream, and he immediately shoved it to the back of his mind.

The two reached their brown-headed friend at exactly the same time, both panting and laughing as they fell to the sand to catch their breath. Sora looked up at the sweaty pair, shaking his head, a smile slowly growing on his lips.

"And I thought you and I were bad," he said jokingly to Riku. "Now you've got KAIRI into it?? What are we gonna do for a ref now?"

"Maybe you'll just have to sit 'em out and let me and the lovely lady race," Riku teased back, shooting a winning look at Kairi. "What do you think, Kairi?"

The girl giggled and looked away. "Oh, I don't know…I kind of like being your ref. That way I can keep you cheaters from…well…cheating!"

"I don't cheat!" they both exclaimed, giving each other dirty looks. "HE DOES!"

Kairi laughed outright at this one. "I was just kidding, guys, geez!" She idly brushed the sand off her legs. "I swear, you guys act younger than a couple of four year olds."

Sora snorted.

"Four year olds, huh?" Riku chortled. "Well…if we're four year olds…," he trailed off, shooting a sly glance at Sora. "Then…MINE!!!" He jumped Kairi, gently blowing a raspberry against her neck and making her laugh uncontrollably. Sora's eyes went wide.

"RIKU YOU JERK!" he exclaimed, tackling his friend from behind. The rolled, grappling, down to the beach and into the waves.

Kairi sat up, rubbing her neck. "Aw, c'mon Sora! He was just kidding!"

"Some joke!" Sora muttered, rolling off Riku and sitting in the waves.

Riku sat up as well, grinning in satisfaction. For some reason he was getting an awful lot of pleasure out of making Sora so angry. "Geez, man, what she said. It was just a joke."

"A really bad one!"

Riku gave him a noogie. "You'll get over it."

Sora glared at him, then got to his feet and slunk away.

"He's gotten awfully moody lately," Kairi said softly. "It kind of worries me. Sora's never really been like that be…Riku??"

Riku's eyes followed Sora, narrowed into a look that could only be described as hatred. His mouth was set in a grim line until Kairi called his name; then he looked up at her and immediately changed his expression to a smile. "Sorry. I was zoned. What was that?"

She ignored the question. "Your face looked…well…almost scary. Did something happen between you and Sora?"

Riku hadn't noticed how angrily he had been staring after Sora, so he blinked at Kairi, confused. "No. Why?"

"It's just…oh never mind. I'm probably imagining things." Turning around, she took a few steps after Sora. "I'm gonna go see if he's ok. He went off in a huff. See ya later, ok?"

His brow furrowed, silver hair falling into his eyes. "Yeah…sure."

Kairi jogged off down the beach, leaving Riku alone with his thoughts. He laid back in the sand once more, letting the ocean lap at his feet. White clouds chased each other over his head. He idly started picking out shapes; a habit of old from when he and Sora had been kids.

"Was it really all a dream…?" he wondered aloud, holding his hand over his head to examine the lines of his palms. "It seemed so real…yet here I am, back on Destiny Islands with my friends…" Kairi flashed through his mind, and his heart skipped a painful beat. He sat up abruptly. "What the…?" he croaked, the pain tightening his throat. He put a hand to his chest to feel his heartbeat speeding out of control.

"Yo Riku, you ok?" Tidus trotted up behind him, tucking his sword into the makeshift sheath at his hip. "You look like you just had a heart attack or something."

The pain faded as the silver-haired boy turned to focus on his friend. "No…nothing's wrong…I just…have a cough." He faked a few hacks. What had all that been about?

"Yeah right. Seriously, what's wrong?"

"Nothing! Get lost, ok?"

"Grumpypuss," Tidus grumbled. But he turned and walked away anyway.

"Ugh…" Riku put his elbow on his knee and rested his chin in his hand. Closing his eyes, he tried to come up with an explanation for the inexplicable. He stayed like that for a moment, then opened his eyes, unable to come up with anything that made sense.

It was dark.

"What the?!" he stood up. _Just a few minutes earlier it was broad daylight…_ The stars twinkled over his head, their tiny pinpoints of light raining down upon his silver hair, making the strands glimmer soflty.

_What happened to the sunset?_

Suspiciously eyeing the sky, Riku started to make his way back to his boat. Sand spilled over the sides of his shoes, but he paid it no mind. His thoughts were all on the weird happenings of Destiny Islands.

When he got to the little group of boats, he didn't even bother to use the dock - he just splashed into the ocean, letting the refreshing cool water clear his mind a little. But just as he was about to shove the little craft into the tide, a small movement caught his eye. He turned back.

Kairi was laying beside the dock, short red hair splayed out around her in a crimson halo. Her eyes were closed in sleep, her mouth open just a little as her breath whispered in and out. The movement that had gotten his attention was a small adjustment to make herself more comfortable.

His heart thumped faster.

The boat was completely forgotten as Riku slowly and quietly made his way back up to the shore. Brushing his soaking silver locks out of his eyes, he knelt beside Kairi.

"You shouldn't be out here so late…" he murmured. He started to take her back inside, but stopped. Her face in the starlight made his heart beat ever faster with a feeling he couldn't describe.

_Her lips are so…inviting…_

Now his heartbeat thundered in his chest as he leaned down, hands braced in the soft sand. The space between their faces became smaller…and smaller…

Then his lips met hers in one breathtaking moment. Riku's chest seemed to explode with invisible fire that incinerated his every sane thought and turned his body to heated lead. There seemed to be an unquenchable thirst in his heart; every nerve ending was suddenly aching for her touch.

He slowly pushed his lips down a little harder, exhaling through his nose onto her soft skin. His eyes slid closed, savoring the feel of her silken skin. He didn't even notice his mind go blank and his world go dark as he sank deeper and deeper into the oblivion of painful bliss.


End file.
